Saturday, 26 October 2013

The Idiot Box !

Remember the times when you walk into your house and find all the ladies of the house glued to the television? It's like our mothers don't exist in this world anymore and until its midnight, they refuse to depart from the screen. *Statutory Warning: DO NOT WAKE THE MOTHERS WHILE WATCHING TELEVISION.*

Seriously, what's the deal with you guys? Why this kolaveri di for us I ask ?!

TV stars are earning big bucks these days with the rising value of the industry. Who increases the TRP for all their shows and furnish their apartments by the beachside ? Our susceptible MOTHERS ! Oh ! What an overweening moment !

I tried to understand the (black)magic of this tiny world, which left me perplexed. So, here are my pearls of wisdom.

The saas-bahu edge-of-the-seat drama!
Have you ever experienced something so bad that tears open all the neurons in your head ? If you haven't, then all the daily soaps are here to dwell you in the psychotic drama. Also, they charge you for the cable ! Hey, don't blame them, it is an art to make people throw up incessantly ! Oh ! The saas and bahu rewind-and-repeat-sequence of the slaps with the nerve-wracking background score, the extra marital affairs and their debauched lives. Lord, save us !

The walking dead !

Do I need to explain this ? No, I'm not talking about vampires and zombies. As eerie as it sounds for us unconventional ones, the uncanny daily soap guys find this very silly. Hello ! Stop judging, their dead ones emerge effortlessly from the graves and this stunt requires no thunderstorms or witches. Sometimes, they even get an insane plastic surgery done with no signs of PTSD. Yes, they are that nonchalant. I told ya, they're not from this planet.

The blessed ones !
All the daily soap ladies have an astounding gift. And what is that ? They can wake up from sleep, cook, play politics, stab each others back but ! Not a strand of their hair will get messed up, their lip gloss never dries out, they wear expensive jewellery even while cooking(they never get robbed too) and their sarees never get crumbled even while getting straight out of bed. WOW ! I'm seriously feeling insecure and covetous. o.0

The reality shows !
I'll just say one thing about this, all ogres at one place, left open to pry on each other. So, I'll leave it you for
the imagination.

Before I wrap it up, a lil' something for all the CID fans because CID is always LEGEN-wait for daya to bang open the door-DARY :D

Thursday, 24 October 2013

SMART-phone is the new SEXY !

Gone are those times when you had to wait till dawn and walk to the telephone booth, stand in long queues to make a phone call. From the time of birds carrying messages to the time of twitter, we have come a long way. I mean, how cool is that ? Parents are literally dragging their kids to school. Nah! Not because they do not want to be at school, they just want parents to authorize for the phone to tag along.

Let's look at the magic beans smartphones have spilled in our life !

A smartphone makes your mother and father more smart ! Oh, the horror !
Do you remember those days when parents never even knew how to text and now, they're all over social networks ! How many of us flip out at their add requests, change display pictures and lock your phones ?
The last thing I want is for my mother to subscribe to my updates. Hell NO !

A smartphone saves you from SWAG, YOLO crap ! Voila !
We know, you want to walk in to a crowd looking all cool and bursting with attitude. Stop right there. Please save us all from the glittery crap smeared all over your body and grab a smartphone already ! Hey that ryhmed ! Anyway, using words like SWAG, YOLO, CRAY-CRAY, MERKED and other nonsensical words is NOT COOL. What's cool ? Your smartphone !

A smartphone will want to you to get hooked to anything that owns a DSLR !
Mirror, mirror on the wall, Which picture is more sexy on my FACEBOOK wall ! Like I read somewhere, insert rich brat name* photography. Everywhere! Argh ! People, leave it for the professional photographers to have that entitlement. Why do you social birds have to poke your nose in everything ?Every girl finds a photographer hot these ays. Ugh !  Making memories ? I cannot fathom that anymore.

A smartphone can rip of any relationship to pieces and shove the ashes in your face !

One simple statement to justify to this, the "last seen at" feature of whatsapp. I actually knew a couple who called it off because of this madness. If whatsapp is already ruining lives, Facebook, twitter and all other birds had to eat away the last piece of cake too.

I have ranted enough. I'll shut up now, so all you social birdies out there, have a SEXY day ;)